My Vampire Trilogy

I've decided to write my vampire trilogy:

Daybreak - Hurry Sundown
Vampire with a hangover who cannot believe how freaking sunny it is in california, moves back to deepest, darkest New Jersey...

Happy Hour - Vampire with a drinking problem visits old haunts and runs into other vampires who steal his soul, which he did not know he had until he met California vampires.

Full Moon - Vampire girl decides she is really Wolf Woman because she turns into one every full moon; runs with it.

No, actually, my vampire novel is a true story and its called Rock of Vampyre...and it comes from my vain attempt to become a screenwriter in Hollywood. A writer approached me and asked me to help her write a movie, The Rock and Roll Vampire," and I got a little carried away and wrote something akin to Faust. Heh, I was fresh out of college, and was still mired in my Ivory Tower.

And, instead of becoming a star in Hollywood, I became a black hole in space, so I did learn a few comic lessons along the way, having taken a course from the head writer of the Brady Bunch, and partying in Hollywood where I met an actual vampire.
He told me, there are three things a woman must be!
One, she must be orgasmic.
I forgot the other two.

Then, in a vain attempt to put a comic spin on my rock and roll vampire script, I decided to literally dig up Bela Lugosi. I went on the Ghoul Tour, where they drive you around in a hearse and show you where everybody died in L.A. My very first trip to L.A. I was taken to Marilyn Monroe's grave where Joe DiMaggio was still placing a single rose every day.

Hollywood is a strange and funny place, but mostly its a ghost town. Its a town of pimps and whores, and its not someplace you want your daughter to go. My father suffered a heart attack while I lived in Hollywood.

But, years later, I know vampires are a cash cow, and I've processed my life a little better, so the story has evolved, too. Instead of selling one's soul, its about fame whores, exploitation, and the music biz....getting sold into white slavery, and people WHO THINK they are vampires, because there are plenty of them out there.

I'm the only person, I know = who actually had a fang, and I got it fixed by an orthidontist when I was 13.

But, you know, if its vampires they want, then its vampires they will get. Besides, they make a vampire movie every year in Hollywood, next year they can make mine!

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