Verbiage Casseroles

Smothered Verbs
by Jennie Ruby

Michelangelo sculpted a series of human forms partially embedded in the stone from which they were being carved (the Bearded Slave, the Beardless Slave, and several others). These sculptures, with their limbs struggling to pull free of the stone, come to mind for me whenever I read text full of smothered verbs.

A smothered verb is an abstract noun that could have been a verb. Examples are assumption, decision, assessment, and attendance. The word endings -tion, -sion, -ment, -ance and -ence indicate a noun based on a verb. These are perfectly good words, but they are often used in wordy phrases containing a weak verb/smothered verb combination.

A weak verb is a verb that is being used as a kind of placeholder for the real action in a sentence, which is hidden inside an accompanying smothered verb. For example, the common phrase make a decision is a weak verb/smothered verb combo. No one is really "making" anything here. They are really deciding something. Decide is a strong verb because it carries a unique, active meaning. The fact that the true action, or strong verb, is buried inside an abstract noun distances the reader from a feeling of action and movement in the sentence and creates a staid and formal writing style.

Sometimes, as in academic, governmental, or law writing, a staid and formal style is exactly right. But to make writing more concise and easier to read, search out the weak verb/smothered verb combos and use a strong verb instead. So instead of make a decision, decide. Instead of do an assessment, assess. Instead of be in attendance, attend. This quick fix will enliven a piece of writing immediately.

Jennie Ruby is a veteran IconLogic trainer and author of Editing with Word 2007. Jennie specializes in electronic editing. At the American Psychological Association, she was manager of electronic publishing and manager of technical editing and journal production.

Jennie has an M.A. from George Washington University and is a Certified Technical Trainer (Chauncey Group). She is a publishing professional with 20 years of experience in writing, editing and desktop publishing.